Kratom leaves and extracts

With the DEA hot on the trail of Kratom, you might soon run out of your luck. You may not see yourself as a dealer, but with DEA busting down doors to get to Kratom harvesters, you may soon need a new door for your house… once you make bail that is.  

My condolences to all you poor souls out there who can’t function without their Kratom puff or capsule. And the importers too should mark down their supplies in transit as lost goods because they will soon be confiscated. We do understand what you may be going through. No one knows what the future may bring your way, so you better make the most of your last Kratom batch.

And while you’re at it, take a look at the following Kratom memes that you will totally relate to:

1. The Energy Drink

Mornings are always hard, but without your daily dose of Kratom, morning hours can become unbearable!

Everything from the glaring sunlight to the faintest of sounds can make you feel like the world is ending. Your limbs fail to respond to your commands and it feels like you’ll drop dead from the exhaustion…. exhausted from what? Sleep???

However, once you’ve had your daily dose of Kratom, the clouds of depression will finally pass away and angels will sing for you from above. So yeah, it pretty much keeps you moving! 

2. The Scumbag? Rightly So!

Ooh… just don’t get us started on this one!

The DEA is known for pulling such crap on people. Honestly, it just leaves you wondering if they truly care about the fight against opioid addiction or not!

Kratom does give you a buzz, but the positive effects are great for a number of afflictions. But no, why would the DEA care about that, right? They need to crack down on Kratom while all the white stuff is being smuggled across the borders easily!

3. Love Me Some Kratom

Raise your hand if you love Kratom as much as the next person!

Love is the most cherish-able thing in the world, but for Kratom lovers, popping those capsules in the morning or having their first cup of that earthy brew of the day tops everything. That’s right, your bae may have changed your life for the better but nothing, and we mean NOTHING, beats Kratom!  

4. Le Drunk!

Baby Yoda is all the rage these days. At those late night parties, where everyone’s going to get drunk like losers, you’re going to look rad, just like baby Yoda, as you take a sip of your golden brew.

That’s right! No more throwing up in the back alley for you. With Kratom, you’re going to PARTAY the right way!! 

5. Let the Buzzed Games begin!

Yes, that is exactly how you look after you drink that first cup of brew in the morning, before you take your mitragynine capsules, for… uhh… reasons.

Anyways, people are just jealous and you look awesome!                          

6. Freebies!!!

If you think you won’t be doing this after you give Kratom a try, you are just lying to yourself and liars go to Hell! There you have it. The harsh reality of life that’ll be an eye opener for you! The truth is out there and so is Kratom. So don’t stop your search for either!  

7. I Feel It Coming!

Oh, yeah, you’ll feel it, too, when you take that extra dose of Kratom. As the golden elixir goes down your throat, you feel the rumbling in your gut and you will be spending quite a while on the white throne. So make sure your phone’s charged and just bear the consequences. After all, it was your choice!

8. Mission Impossible

Those dreaded family dinners may have you stressed out, but you can totally avoid that and spend a stress free holiday at home. You will need to be careful to escape the detection skills of your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles and…. the list goes on. But it will be totally worth it!

9. Catch Me If You Can… Oh! You Already Have

Why is it so hard to explain this to moms?! As if you don’t have other better things to do in life like pounding your Kratom, ordering your Kratom or brewing your Kratom… you get the idea.

Why can’t they understand you are addicted to happiness, to relaxation, to elation and yeah, maybe Kratom, too!

10. Taken

Yeah, you’ve got your priorities right! You don’t care who is on the other line of the phone as long as you get your supply by the end of the day.

11. Kratom Hotline

Shrek knows what’s cooking and it’s not your mother’s special sautéed brussel sprouts— they are disgusting and should be banned instead of Kratom! You may be all in for this Matrix mumbo jumbo, but it doesn’t work in real life. Neither the blue capsule nor the red one will help you through that first-thing-in-the-morning meeting. Take this priceless life lesson from Shrek and get your Krat on!!!  

12. The Scariest Thing!

Running out of their supply is the scariest thing for all Kratom lovers. Trust us, NOTHING comes close. Thousands of people become a victim of Kratom shortage. You can play a part in helping these poor souls out. With just $1 a day, you can help buy some Kratom and work your way towards sainthood.

So, were these memes relatable? 

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