Your grandma can use a good laugh. Those NSFW memes will only do the opposite though. Show her these pristine memes to make her happy without disowning you:
It just doesn’t make sense! Why would they change math? Math is math! MATH IS MATH! Just take 7 from 14 without going over the top. Heartbreak can be devastating but this is downright ludicrous. I screamed in frustration during class once because of this and got detention for my troubles.
Cats are weird like that. True story – I ordered an incredibly expensive cat bed from Amazon for Mr. Tibbles my extremely spoiled cat. When it arrived he refused to sit in it no matter how many times I tried to make him. That ungrateful feline made the box the bed came in his cardboard palace. I use that cat bed as a highly expensive foot warmer now.
This is true to a fault. I hate getting up early but I promised my mom that I would start working out early. My next New Year’s resolution will be ‘stop making promises you can’t keep.’ Early morning is overrated anyway. You can’t see a thing because it’s cold out and I am pretty sure I heard someone stalking me during my run.
My cat thinks he is the cat’s meow. Laptop all set up and ready for work? He will plop down on the keyboard. It’s his bed now and has a layer of fur that wasn’t there before. It’s true what they say. Cats don’t have owners, they have staff!
I am the least athletic person I know but it wasn’t always this way. I could climb a tree faster than my friends could and was a star athlete at school. All of that changed when I reached adulthood. Now, I have to think twice before reaching for anything that’s on a high shelf!
It’s so addictive! Just give me sheets of these, leave me in a room and you won’t hear from me till all of those bubbles are popped and flat. They are also great for pranks especially if you have a roommate who is scare of everything. So I placed a sheet of bubble wrap right next to his bed when he was sleeping. I didn’t know a grown man could scream at such a high pitch.
Dogs are so sweet but they can be a handful especially during their puppy and teen years. My pooch is no exception. One time I came home and found the chewed up TV remote in his food bowl. He wouldn’t look at me when I confronted him but who could remain mad at that adorable face?
One time I spent hours going through old comic books and other stuff that I found at the back of a closet while I was supposed to be cleaning. Long story short, my house is still a mess but my memory has never been fresher. I ended up donating most of the things I found though.
My body betrays me when someone watches me dancing. I have terrible stage fright and during a panic attack, my brain forgets it’s attached to my body. It’s the same reason why I can never use a public urinal.
This is me the night after I go out with friends and I’ve had a bit too much to drink. The resulting hangover is paralyzing as it is and I feel like death warmed over. Word to the wise – don’t let your best friend convince you to a chugging contest when you can get drunk after the first beer.
My current neighbor is a gem but my last one was a nightmare. One time, he decided to install cabinets in the room above mine in the middle of the night! This went on for a week but he wasn’t done. I left when he decided to get a new
That’s me during the winter when the temperature drops outside and my electric blanket refuses to let me go. This is also me when I seriously contemplate quitting my job or call in ‘sick’ from work. The only thing that would make me get off from that toasty bed is a full bladder.
I knew I should have never told him that I wanted to lose weight and get fit! Every time he comes around I have to pretend I’m asleep or not at home. I’m already in shape. Round is a shape, right?
Not me, but a friend of mine wanted to make sure his school picture turned out amazing. That image is there forever and no one wants to show their kids that their dad was a geek at school. Long story short, he got braces a few days before the big day and the rest is history.
That’s the face my kids make when they realize that they didn’t do a lick of homework during summer vacation and school starts the next day. It quickly turns into a face of dread and horror when they see how much work they need to do before they can even think about sleeping. Their first day back at school was spent sleeping in detention.
It’s always right in front of their nose but it doesn’t exist to them till I ‘find’ it. Now I know what my mom felt when I couldn’t find my socks before school every day. Forcing my kids to clean their room and organize their stuff only made things worse. All of those neatly folded clothes are pulled out in panic-induced rage when they can’t find that single pair of jeans that they just have to wear at school. Doesn’t matter if they have three more they could wear. Nope, the flower-patterned jeans are all the rage and they’ll look ‘stupid’ wearing something else.